Life Lessons: Hate

If there is one thing I learned from "The house of the spirits", one of my favorite books, it's to let go of hate and anger. For those who have read the book, you'll probably remember Alba, after being tortured mercilessly, saying that she was searching for that hatred that she had but couldn't find it.

The thing about bad experiences is that they need to pass through you. You need to feel all of it, no matter how painful. If you pretend that it didn't exist, it will bite you in the ass later on, perhaps countless times. If you keep them at surface level, you will find yourself consumed by hate long after you even really remember why in the first place. I can't stand people who tell you to bounce right back immediately after a bad experience, because being "positive" all the time, to me at least, is just another escape so that you don't need to deal with the shit that's been thrown at your face. No, don't wallow for longer than you should but deal with it. You need to feel the misery, pain, anger, embarrassment, whatever. You need to give yourself that opportunity to take it all in and process before you throw it all away. That's where the lessons are right?

I know we question why a particular thing had to happen to us. Most of us would like to think we are good people that don't deserve crappy things to happen to them. I believe in lessons, tests, karma. I believe the universe throws us these things because there's something we refuse to learn, something we need to teach, something we need to let go of or something we need to find. It might be my own hopeful heart convincing myself but I refuse to think that anything bad we go through is in vain. I refuse to believe that whoever higher being up there is so cruel he just wants to see us suffer.

So, you can hate someone for a certain amount of time. Being hurt is not an easy thing to deal with and sometimes you need that word because at that moment, it's probably what most closely describes what you are feeling. Don't let it last too long though, because no one can live a life with hate constantly boiling in his/her heart.

I used to use the word hate very loosely when I was younger, but then I realized after all those initial  feelings subside, you realize you were just hurt. Everyone is going through their own struggle, so if you can't feel that anger in you anymore, don't go looking for it. At the end of the day, it destroys no one but yourself. Liberate yourself, let go, and know that next time you'll make better decisions.

These experiences make you a better person. You might not see it now but just trust.