Slowly but surely, that inspiration dwindles. If it was someone you fell in-love with and that someone went away, or it was something you experienced and it seems like such a long time ago, or maybe, you had some sort of reality check after reminding you that life isn't perfect. For whatever reason, I realized that you can't always rely on outside forces to keep you on track. If you do and are disappointed, then what do you do, just give up? Forget everything you were working towards and everything you wanted?
At the end of the day, the only person who can hinder you from doing something is you, and the only way to stop telling yourself that you can't do something is to actually do it. It's so easy to make excuses. Frighteningly easy. When we don't want to do something, there are so many justifications we can make for why we can't or shouldn't, but more often than not, this "not wanting to do something" is born out of fear, insecurity or simply sheer laziness.
This is exactly why I am filling this year with challenges for myself. I need to believe that all the motivation and inspiration I need is in myself, and I don't have to wait for it to come from somewhere else or for it to strike. I chose to start with my health because that's been the hardest for me to deal with the past few years. I always used the fact that I love cooking as an excuse to never eat healthy. "I'm experimenting", "How can I improve if I limit myself to only healthy food", "Healthy food is boring" This was until my constant drinking and eating whatever the hell I wanted made me start feeling really sluggish and gain weight! Luckily, I come from a family of fast metabolisms so I feel like I didn't gain as much or as fast as most, but I could see, but more importantly, FEEL the difference from 2009 to the end of 2012. In the beginning of 2013, I decided that my first challenge would be to lose 10 pounds and tone. I wanted the body I had in my twenties.
Again, so many excuses can be made "But I'm 33, I can't have that body again", "I'm too busy to work out", "I hate the gym", "I'm tired" but I decided that anytime I felt like making any of these excuses, I would offer my "gym suffering" to someone who I know is going through a harder time than I am. I learned to do that through my yoga practice. Before I knew it, in less than 2 months, I had already lost 12 pounds- more than what I set out to do.
Of course, because I am who I am, I wasn't satisfied and decided to add another 5/6 pounds of weight loss to my goal. Just because I know I can do it, and I know I won't let myself fail. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I am definitely well on my way, and my constant mantra "Don't give up, Paredes, don't you f*ckin' give up" really helps me reach my 60 minute cardio goal when I'm ready to give up at 20, 30 and 45 minutes.
I feel a new burst of energy, inspiration and positivity that I thought I had lost late last year, and this time, I don't need anyone or anything but myself to own all of it. It's mine. And I don't need outside forces to remind me.
Next stop, re-learn Spanish. Classes start in a couple of weeks :)
|Work in progress! Not quite where I want to be yet but motivated and determined enough to get there :D|